You don’t owe forgiveness. Your soul can’t be forced to sooth, there is no exchange in forgiving when you can’t. Not ready, capable, willing, don’t bother. Nothing will be achieved. I’ve attempted to forgive before I was ready, and I’ve also been able to forgive wrongs thought to be causing irreparable wounds. Forgiveness is an act committed out of love and healing. Self love, trust, understanding, these are the basis of forgiveness. Just as apologies aren’t a shortcut, a simple solution, or scapegoat,  neither is forgiveness. They must be authentic. Anything else is denial or worse. 

Often forgiveness is response to apology, not always. Neither is mutually exclusive. An apology is worth something void of forgiveness, as is forgiveness without an apology. In both something precious is learnt. Our capacity for empathy and self awareness grows.

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