Being a Hypocrite

We all, in some way, are hypocrites. We work to avoid contradicting ourselves but without self awareness, we are powerless. Self awareness is our continuous struggle.

I am a hypocrite. By naming this sin I can observe it, watch it carefully and note its behaviours. Our hypocrisy hides insecurity.

I, we, human beings, criticize our own weakness identified in others. I’m insecure of my youth the older worlds of esotericism, writing, art, psychology, and philosophy, so I pinpoint naivety in my own age demographic to hide my greenness. My deep fears of being unqualified manifest.

Though I’m confident and knowledgeable, I also have an inferiority complex. Traumatized people often do, and often experience heightened hypocrisy. We feel we must overcompensate.

Am I qualified to write about what I know? Yes. Am I a hypocrite who won’t take their own advice? Yes. Is it my place to critique others? Yes. Should I be critiqued as much as I critique others? Yes, yes, yes. I am insulated, though, isolated. I rarely achieve dialogue. I’m not involved in discussion or discourse. I strive for it but don’t attain it.

Hypocrite and hypercritical, these are a balance, they merge, they feed and fight each other, but if we acknowledge and observe, we learn.

I’m learning. I haven’t reached the standard age of the Death of Idealism. Though I once thought my ideals died in my infancy, I may learn in less than a decade that I have been more young and foolish than I already thought.

3 thoughts on “Being a Hypocrite

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