We each have a journey that we’ve watched play out before us. Sometimes we neglect it, veer off course, but deep down we know where our soul is trying to lead us. In childhood we take our first steps. Someday we’ll take our last steps.
Many parts of my life have been lost to trauma related amnesia, but I retain momentos and random fragments of memory along with the flashbacks and repressed memories arising in dreams. What I do have is a life line that ties me back through every version of myself buried deep inside.
This lifeline could be called fate. My personal beliefs remember where they came from and in those moments when understanding and memory collide, I get a snapshot of who I used to be. A child singing to apple trees, burying charms in the garden, painting on rocks, and eagerly trying to write without switching letters around and then developing codes and cyphers.
I have always been connected to the earth and to language. I experienced indescribable situations that could only be processed by becoming a mystic. This is the reality of my childhood and of the purpose of my adult life. What comes next is only another series of cycles in the making of who I’m meant to be.
I’m grateful that I’m able to easily be true to myself. That’s not to say I don’t face adversity frequently, my existence isn’t accepted among most, but I’ve built my life to sustain my truths. Gratitude comes in the form of caring for the earth and doing my best to be a healing person. I hope that someday soon all people will be given the opportunity to be truly and unabashedly themselves.