Recognizing Trauma Responses

We all have different stories, tragedies, little secrets that become big that become destigmatization if they cease being secret, but if we’ve lived with trauma for a significant amount of time (especially childhood trauma) we may not notice how big of an impact they‘be had on our lives. Our personalities and behaviours have adopted trauma …

Mind Over Matter: A Poem

You strange story from childhood whose origins I know not— I remember you said we should be guardians of the woods of crisis wrought. So long ago, I can’t recall if the story’s birth was true but thinking back, above else all I was given the wherewithal to become a statue. A wounded woman, arms …

Why I Write

There are many reasons I write, some objectively more honourable than others. For a moment I’m going to dissect why. There’s an insecure, fragile unstable child inside me and this is the true source of many of the factors. One is that I never used to truly value my thoughts and opinions. I put so …

My Experience with Cleanliness

I’m a disorganized person, a partially recovered hoarder, and I’m disabled. This adds up to some very unsavoury environments I’ve created around myself but in recent years I’ve made progress in leaps and bounds. Still, my apartment is rarely clean and when it is, it’s often short lived. But no longer am I sleeping on …

Alchemy of Self: Dissolution Part 1

Our emotions tie our consciousness to our unconscious, much like our dreams. These feelings can teach you about yourself or take you under their control. In esotericism water is symbolic of our emotions and dissolution is a process of dissolving a substance into a liquid. We take the ashes of our burnt away insecurities and …

To Be Open and Vulnerable

It's difficult for me to own my past. To accept and hold it within me, let alone release it to others, is a brutal living. Putting words to experiences feels an unneeded reminder, but it is. Reliving my life on my own terms is an act of power I must fight for. Others have taken …

Remembering Childhood Happiness and Power

Quiet but not too quiet, white noise of a fan and a distant highway against the void hum of silence. There are thoughts. They drift distantly in a relaxing mind, not for the first time I’m attempting to find the happy memories of my childhood.  Riding down the driveway in a wheelbarrow, feeling the sway …