Initiation of Inspiration: Recall

When the itch isn’t accompanied by ignition, when we struggle to take initiative when hit with the urge to create, we must practice our information recall. Every interesting thought we’ve had since our last creative session has disappeared. Notes may jog our memory but lack the internal flow of a natural spark— we’re detached from …

Embattled in Insecurity

Low self worth, value, respect, confidence, this way of living is familiar, seemingly unavoidable. Most of life is riddled with tests of our self confidence. Some of us are born into insecurity and others have it thrust upon them by circumstance, all the same it leeches our energy reserves, our relationships, sabotages us, keeps us …

Why I Write .3

[CW: CSA] I protect myself under layers of analysis and resolution, thickly padded thoughts processing everything the raw core of myself spits out. Sometimes the original material has been recycled and repackaged before it gets to my conscious self. Writing helps understand the workings of this protective system so I may be aware of the …

Time and I

This week is a difficult time for me but I’m appreciative of how much I’ve grown in a year. I’ve graduated from the person I used to be. Though I remain an anxious person, I’m more emotionally stable even when I’m not— I can move on, cope, gain control over myself from the hands of …

The Renegade Thought

My instincts usually order me to close down and build up my protection, but there are urges to disobey and leave myself vulnerable. We all have our habitual thought process and propensities. We also have those triple turncoat traitorous thoughts which actually lead us to a better way of being. Time and effort is needed …

My Experience with Cleanliness

I’m a disorganized person, a partially recovered hoarder, and I’m disabled. This adds up to some very unsavoury environments I’ve created around myself but in recent years I’ve made progress in leaps and bounds. Still, my apartment is rarely clean and when it is, it’s often short lived. But no longer am I sleeping on …

Alchemy of Self: Separation Part 2

While focusing inward it’s impossible to fully separate the inside from the outside. Transforming ourselves and the way we think and act means understanding the relationship between us and the world around us.  During these meditations and thought journeys we find ourselves often faced with polarities. Understand that there is nothing inherently positive or negative …

Critical Thinking (Not Thinking Critically)

Being fully aware of thoughts and noticing problematic patterns can easily spawn new toxic mentalities. We might imagine it was easier before we were self aware, that we prefer being oblivious. There is technique to be practiced in critical thinking— there are nuances to understanding ourselves and trained compassion. My therapist gave me a phrase …

Digging Deeper

I want to know myself. You likely want to know yourself too. Why is it so difficult sometimes to reach into the true depth of our being, why do certain truths hide so desperately from us? We delude ourselves into believing we know what we know and the rest we must search for.  My internal …

Alchemy of Self: Dissolution Part 2

“Acceptance can transform but if you accept in order to transform, it is not acceptance. It is like loving. Love seeks no reward but when given freely comes back a hundredfold.” This quote by Marsha M. Linehan, creator of dialectical behavioural therapy, embodies our work in emotional release and radical acceptance. We wish to change …